The Merciless Sass of Vettius Valens

Vettius Valens is a 2nd century CE astrologer from Antioch in Roman-controlled Syria (now Turkey) and one of the most important sources we have for the practice of ancient horoscopic astrology. His tome Anthology is a collection of 9 books that contain an array of ancient principles and techniques, beginning with the basic significations of the planets and signs and continuing through a wide range of topics from length of life calculations to formulas for the various Lots, and a range of ancient time lord procedures.

Valens is also very sassy. If you read Anthology you’re going to come across a lot of sass. Talking about the time lord periods in predictive astrology (“chronocratorships”), Valens goes off on a hilarious screed against… well just about everyone:

Most have expounded their views on the distribution of the chronocratorships in a very complicated and hateful manner, and they have not taught a valid system. They

have fenced in this topic with many devices, and have left their readers a legacy of the greatest error and of futile investigation. Others, carried away in their ignorance by this mass of words, have added false systems and have deceived many. Still others, who saw the power of this science and who laid a foundation, did not add examples, because of their grudging spirit. We, however, traversed many lands and came to Egypt, where we fell in with avaricious teachers. We paid them money because of our enthusiasm for the work, but we did not come upon the truth.

Hateful! Grudging! False! Aviricious! Is this an astrological compendium or an audition tape for Real Astrologers of Roman-controlled Antioch?

The reader is not spared! Sometimes I like to text my friends insulting things that Valens says about their charts, just for fun. “You’re monstrous, chilled, and destructive!” “You will have many children and hate them!” “You’re addicted to plays and mimes!” 

It's fun to go through Valens’ delineations and see what awful fate awaits you or learn how flawed you are as a person. I really recommend it. Especially in light of the toxic positivism in modern astrology, it can be incredibly refreshing to read an ancient text that pulls no punches and has no fear of scaring the reader half to death. It can also be useful for actual prediction because it includes such a wide spectrum of human experiences: some people do keep having tons of children even though they hate them! And though none of us like to think of ourselves as monstrous, chilled, and destructive, someone surely is. 

All of that said, you’ll see when you look at the delineations below that many of them are as emphatically positive as the others are dramatically bad. There will be complete contradictions and mutually exclusive combinations in the same person’s chart. It takes a lot of analysis of the full natal chart to decide which of these significations to favor, and when (or when not) to go to the more extreme possibilities listed. I hope none of you will think you’re doomed or rotten (or infallibly glorious for that matter!) after reading Valens’ delineations for your chart!

One section that’s great for getting a taste of Valens’ super-specific delineations is the section of book 1 that I’m quoting above which lists interpretations for each of the zodiacal “terms” or “bounds” (two translations of the same word). Try compiling what Valens says about your own chart by looking up each term that holds a planet or key point in your chart (excerpts at the bottom). You’ll see how some of them are uncannily on-point while others are hilariously off-base or melodramatic. I’ll walk you through how to do this using my own chart below! 

BUT FIRST: what are the terms? 

The terms or bounds are divisions of each zodiac sign into five unequal segments each ruled by a different planet. In the chart image below, look for the little sections within each zodiac sign: 

The ascendent in my chart is 24 degrees (and 54 minutes) Cancer; look on the inside ring and you’ll see that it's in the bounds of Jupiter. So in Valens, you would look under the Cancer heading and find the description of Jupiter's term.

[The easiest way to see the bounds on your own chart is to use the traditional astrology calculator on astro-seek.com. Wherever you have a planet or point in your chart, the term that rules that degree will have some personal importance for you. In reality, there are a lot more factors at play, but this simplified version will work for now.]

While the signs in ancient astrology are talked about like individual lands or estates with their own resources, climate, and rules of governance, the bounds are like properties within that land that belong to one of the planetary gods, regions where they have influence and can operate “on their own terms”. 

Without further ado, this is what Valens has to say about me and my chart, based only on the bounds.

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Severe, cheerless, alien, unlucky with their children and brothers, bloody and destructive, cold, pitiless/stand-offish, malicious, slow to act, but tricky.

Kingly, imperious, glorious, judging, greathearted, temperate, ruling, entirely noble. 

Censured, wronging their marriage and falling into difficulty because of this, lucky in theatrical matters. They are most unnatural in their passions. They commit adultery. They commit a great number of sins which are forgivable—but still there are condemnations. 

Military, competitive, prize winning, and, where words are concerned, bitter, contentious, not to be despised. In general they plan mischief, especially against those who attempt evil or do it.

Temperate, prominent, victorious, prizewinning, pious, honored both by the masses and by the rulers, blessed with children and brothers, living with many women.

Theatrical, comic, on the stage, lying, whoring, seducing, covetous of others’ things, of no reputation, talented in everything, blessed, wealthy, but not of high rank.

Vicissitudes of glory and infamy, wealth and poverty, largess and public ridicule. Barren, having female or deformed children, of low rank, vulgar.

Lofty, prosperous, dictatorial, aiming at rule in everything, poor, destructive of their own relatives and of brothers, wandering, loving solitude, quarrelsome to the end.

Loving well, pious, wealthy without effort, profiting by sudden and unexpected good fortune, prosperous, seafaring. It is beneficial to unite with old women, the feeble, or with eunuchs, and to gain advantage from the barren or the aged.

Cheery, fecund, downward-trending, luxurious, living graciously, with a friendly greeting, celebrating, loving, making progress without effort, dear to the gods. Cheerful, clever, radiant, even pure, handsome.

Intelligent, sensible, criminal, with few off-spring, sinister, fatal.

Sterile, barren, a eunuch, a vagabond, censorious, theatrical, gloomy, toilsome.

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If you decide to go check this out for your own chart, just scroll down for excerpts or go to the chapter called The 50 Terms on page 25 in the Riley translation of Anthology and write down (or copy paste) what Valens says about each of the bounds where you have a planet or important point (for the list above I included my AC/DC, MC/IC, and the north & south nodes in addition to all my planets). [Something to remember: when Valens says that 0-5 degrees is the first term of Aries, if you have a planet at 5 degrees and 01 minutes, it would be in the next term (of Jupiter not Venus)! Ask me if you're confused haha.]

I’d love to hear about any hilarious and/or surprisingly accurate descriptions of yourselves you all come across! And secretly I hope this will give you a taste of how fun and fascinating it can be to dive into an ancient astrological text. 

Excerpts from Anthology Book 1 trans. Riley